So there went another day.
Another meal cooked
Another lot of washing dishes completed
Another floor tidied.
Another lesson taught.
Another wash put on.
Another lot of clothes put away.
Another set of ironing done…
And already my mind is on tomorrow .
can’t miss a beat.
And I’m feeling overwhelmed.
The kids are getting older and I’m finding myself counting the number of chicken pieces in the pot and eating less so it will suffice.
Then I find myself hungry in the night and wonder why.
For many more years ahead this will be the cycle of my life and I suddenly feel such a wish to reverse time and be back under my pink spotty duvet in my old room back at my mums with not a care in the world.
The world really was my oyster back then. I had plans of great things I wanted to accomplish of the person I wanted to be … I could do back flips I was well flexible and now I hear myself called an old fogey .
everything became so serious somewhere along the line .
I guess much of it is serious.
Raising a new generation is no joke I do have to try my hardest to be the best for them to train them to be the best of there generation. And while it might not have been the kind of dream I had back in the day, the truth is its probably the greatest thing I ever did. And by God is it hard.
Iv done a 9-5 job before and trust me that was minor to my sometimes 24/7 job I have now and it was sooo much less stressful.
I have to force myself to relax its that hard … All I can see is the dishes that need to be cleaned the floor that needs to be wiped the nose that needs to be blown and to get relaxed enough to have good conversation with kids, and play takes much mental effort coz I know when that’s finished I still got to do the rest of the stuff.
And many times we are the only ones who notice that our health is deteriorating… That we are feeling particular stressed or upset or angry… That something just ain’t right.
And there’s no one around to make it right for us. We r on our own…
Or so we think.
Allah never left us in the first place.
We might have wanted to be kid free for a few years but Allah planned for us otherwise. Maybe we wanted to start up something but our health failed us. Maybe money got sparse whatever it is, bottom line is He has the wisdom that we don’t.
We weren’t here to have it easy